The Play Couch Rules

(aka Liability Statement)
 Sorry friends for this serious note, but our lawyers say we must! 
We can’t be responsible for certain things, and in their advice we trust. 

We make these rules to keep you safe, that’s all it is, in short
If you do something too silly then you shan’t sue us in court.

Make sure you carve out empty space and be careful when you slide, 
We don’t want you to hurt yourself on too steep of a ride! 
You have to know your limits when you decide to play, 
If you’re hurt or don’t feel so well, then wait for another day. 
Do listen to your grownup when they tell you “that’s enough”, 
They are older, maybe wiser, and they’ve surely seen some stuff. 
It’s always fun to make your build with items in your home, 
But be careful with heavy objects that can squash and ruin the foam. 
Don’t set fire to your couch nor keep it near a flame, 
If you choose to be that silly then we cannot be to blame! 
Keep your foam in its slipcover so that it will stay dry, 
A kid or dog could spill or pee, and make you want to cry. 
Building a second story is always lots of fun, 
But pillows are best as just a roof, they’re not meant to hold up anyone! 
If you get hurt from acting a little bit too wild, 
You cannot hold us responsible for the boo boo on your child. 
You agree that by playing with our toy you waive your rights to make a claim, 
For any damages, suits or injuries for which we are not to blame. 

We have slipcovers to protect each piece, but underneath is foam,
Please do not consume it or you will surely moan and groan.

We make these rules to keep you safe, that is our intent,
So we cannot be held liable if the rules are broke or bent.

You agree this is binding on your heirs, successors and assigns, 
You’re responsible for your actions and to follow these guidelines. 

This poem is a legal document and Ontario law is where we turn,
Ontario courts are the only ones to which all matters shall attorn.